How to hug

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Hugs are an important expression of affection. By hugging someone, you remind them that you care about them and support them.

Steps

• Approach the person. Depending on the person's relationship to you, you might want to approach differently:
  

1. Family Hug: Approach kindly, but not too emotionally.
   
2. Friend Hug (girls): Approach caringly, sometimes humorously, and smile.
   
3. Friend Hug (guys): Approach quickly, usually not looking them in the eye.
   
4. Crush Hug: Approach carefully, but do not seem shy. Smile slightly and perhaps say a caring word or two.
   
5. Lover Hug: It doesn't matter who starts this; either can make it just as romantic. When approaching, put your hands on their shoulders and look them in the eyes. Say you love them, how much you care for them, and how much you are loving every second with them. Then fall into each other and hug with all your heart.
   

• Embrace. Lean forward and wrap your arms around the person.

1. Family Hug: You can keep talking when hugging; it will not ruin the momentum. Where you place your hands is not important; the hugged won't think it over too much. Press gently; it is not necessary to have head-contact. Stroke your hands quickly across the top of the hugged's back. Smile when letting go.
   
2. Friend Hug (girls): Close your eyes and think about how much you love your friend when hugging. Press as much as you feel like. (But don't squish!) Do not clap the hugged on the shoulders or such; it's too masculine and some girls think you don't like them if you do it the guys' way.
   
3. Friend Hug (guys): Embrace strongly, and clap each other on the top of your backs. If it's an emotional moment, keep in the hugged position for a brief moment and do not clap each other's backs.
   
4. Crush Hug: Press the hugged warmly towards you. If you are a man, remember that it is more masculine and more protective to fold your arms under hers. Her arms should be around your neck, and you should be embracing her around the waist. When pressing her against you, you can lift her up a bit, pressing her chest and upper stomach against yours. Keep it in that position for a while, and then let go. Look her in the eyes when you separate and continue the conversation naturally.
   
5. Lover Hug: 1) Males: Carefully sliding your hands down from her shoulders, put them on her waist and slide them around her lower back. Put your head on her shoulder and press her towards you for as long as you like. If you want to, you can give her a small massage with your hands, and try to warm her. When separating, you can look into her eyes, smile genuinely and, if the situation is fitting, kiss her. 2) Females: Extend your arms toward him and hold them around his neck and shoulders. Lean as close as possible and press your torso against his. In situations of extreme intimacy, interlocking your leg in his is appropriate. Avoid holding your arms below his shoulders and/or embracing strongly and tensely.

• Don't hug too tightly. The best way to judge how tightly or loosely to hug is to let whomever you're hugging indicate what they want by how hard they squeeze. If they are soft, be soft back; if they like bear hugs and squeeze tightly, hug back the same way (but don't suffocate him/her).
  
• Don't let go too early. A hug is a powerful way to communicate your caring for another person, as it can feel great and greatly improve one's mood. If someone hugs you, they may want a long, loving hug (maybe they are upset or down), so just go along with it and hug them until they let go or loosen their hold.
  

Tips

• Be welcoming when you hug. If either of you requested the hug, then be warm and loving and just make it feel like the person you're hugging is safe from anything else and that the two of you are the only people that matter at the moment.
  
• Make sure you're clean and showered.
  
• Make eye contact, but also make sure to follow the movements of the other person, to avoid clumsy mishaps.
  
• In a "manly hug", it is common to pat twice on the back before disengaging.

Warning

• Do not confuse a lover hug with a friend hug. Things might get complicated and awkward.
  
• Unless you've hugged the person before, don't hug them without asking first. In addition, use your best judgment in choosing when and where to hug someone. There are certain situations where one might be embarrassed to be seen hugging someone else.
  
• Hug only when the person you want to hug has their arms out, they may not want to be hugged if their arms aren't out.
  

by wikiHow

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Google Adsense Analysis - 3

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Frizzy iseng lagi, nyoba-nyoba daftar adsense lagi untuk www.lagunabiru.com. Gara-garanya habis chatting diskusi mengenai tips2 adsense dengan salah satu sobat blogger. Jadi terinspirasi deh, seberapa cepat si google approve registrasiku? Hasilnya? Ternyata diapprove gak sampai satu jam sob...

Kesimpulannya? aku serahkan kepada para bloggerous yang berminat...

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Mari bermain Keyword Valuation Tools

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Iseng-iseng aku nyari kata "Suggestion Keyword Tools" di google, kemudian sampailah aku ke seobook.com, terus coba-coba deh...

Dari hasil di atas, ternyata tiap keyword mengandung nilai yang berbeda-beda. Waa, jadi harus pintar nyari keyword nih...

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Google Adsense Analysis - 2...lanjutan

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Ini adalah lanjutan report Google Adsense Analysis - 2. Karena cut time GA adalah jam 14:30 WIB, disesuaikan dengan waktu pacific, jadi report hari ini masih bisa diambil dan dianalisa sekarang.
Kalo menurut aku si, penghasilan hari ini cukup besar, bagaimana menurut bloggerous yang lain ya?

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Google Adsense Analysis - 2

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Di sini kita bandingkan lagi dengan report sebelumnya. Masih terlihat, bahwa nilai secara satuan dari penelusuran lebih besar daripada nilai konten.
Cheers, frizzy2008.

Student Loan

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Beyond free money, student loans are the best choice to secure additional financing for school.
Here are the basics you need to make informed decisions when selecting student loans:

Determine How Much to Borrow
The following steps will help you determine exactly how much money you will need to borrow for school so you don’t come up short and find yourself charging items at higher interest rates.

Step 1: Identify Your Educational Expenses
Work with your school’s financial aid office to identify all expected costs. Expenses to consider include:
* Tuition
* Fees (i.e., late registration, parking permits, etc.)
* Room and Board
* Text Books and Supplies
* Special Equipment (i.e., computer, etc.)

Step 2: Evaluate Your Existing Financial Resources
Because the total cost of borrowing can increase significantly with time, a good strategy is to borrow only what is absolutely necessary. Evaluate non-loan sources first to pay for many of your educational expenses. These sources of funding include your savings and current income in addition to the awards listed in your financial aid package.

Step 3: Calculate Funding Needed
The additional money you need to pay for the full price of your education is calculated as follows:

Total Educational Expenses – Total Funding Available = Amount to Borrow
Example
Total Educational Expenses $21,580
– Financial Aid $14,590
– Savings $ 2,000
– Gifts from Family $ 1,000
Additional Amount Needed $ 3,990

Use this estimate to evaluate your loan options. Remember, borrow only what you need by maximizing financial aid.

Understanding Student Loan Interest Rates

This section provides you the basics you need to calculate and understand student loan interest rates since they play an important role in determining how much you will pay over the life of the loan.

How Interest Rates are Calculated
The interest charged on student loans is calculated as simple daily interest. Simply put, the outstanding principal balance is multiplied by the interest rate and divided by 365 days to calculate one day’s interest amount. So, if you have a $10,000 loan, with a 7.00% interest rate, the formula would be $10,000 x 0.07/365 and the interest amount for one day would be $1.92.

Shop for Competitive Rates
Since the federal government sets the interest rates for federal loans, you can be assured that all lenders offer the same interest rate. To get the most competitive offer, focus on borrower benefits.

The range of interest rates vary on private student loans, which are typically credit based. You may apply for a private loan on your own. However, if you don’t have an established credit history, you can apply with a creditworthy co-signer to potentially receive a lower interest rate. While it's tempting to choose the private loan with the lowest advertised interest rate, it's best to compare student loans using APR examples.

APR is the Best Comparison Tool
Unlike basic interest rates, which don't represent the true cost of the loan, the APR takes into account all of the associated loan costs such as finance charges and loan fees. Each of these factors can have a significant effect on the cost of a loan. The APR adjusts for each of these items illustrating the true cost of borrowing for your education. Since all lenders provide APR examples, using them to compare two competing loans will give you a true apples-to-apples comparison of your options.

Borrower Benefits Reduce Interest Rates
Many lenders offer money-saving benefits for services such as auto-debit payments. When shopping around, ask lenders how much you can expect to save over the life of the loan with their borrower benefits.

When you look at borrower benefits, consider selecting a lender that will provide service for the life of the loan. Some lenders offer great borrower benefits but will sell your loan to another party or servicer upon repayment. Another servicer may not provide you with the servicing levels you expect.

Graduated Repayment Plan
With a graduated repayment plan, you make interest-only payments for the first two or four years, or $50.00 a month, whichever is greater. After the initial period of lower payments, your payments will increase to include principal and interest for the rest of the term.
When you reduce your monthly payments, you pay more interest over the life of the loan because you repay the principal at a slower rate.

Extended Repayment Plan for Federal Loans
An extended repayment plan reduces your monthly federal loan payments by spreading them over a period of up to 25 years.
Since payments are stretched over a longer term, total interest costs are higher when compared to a standard repayment plan or graduated repayment plan.

by Citi.
Cheers, frizzy2008.

Self humiliation...another creativity

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Buka-buka arsip, eh nemu foto tahun 2002. Ini acara memperingati hari kemerdekaan RI...hihihi, jadi senyum-senyum sendiri.

butuh 'Percaya Diri' yang tinggi lho, untuk bertingkah seperti ini...

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Google Adsense Analysis

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

ini adalah contoh report yang diambil dari aslinya. Di sini kita bisa melihat bahwa, google masih sangat mencintai search enginenya. Sehingga, nilai yang didapat dari 'Adsense untuk Penelusuran' jauh lebih tinggi dari 'Adsense untuk Konten', tapi ini cuma analisaku aja lhoo. Sang master GA di luar sana mungkin gak setuju ma aku.

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Cek pertama dari Google Adsense!

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

...lagi nitipin di Citibank, dicharge Rp100ribu, nunggu 35 hari.

Cheers, frizzy2008.

The Lightshare Photography

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

From Kota Tua

The Kota Tua Session

Please contact the admin to join this group.

Cheers, frizzy2008.

What Does a Sex Therapist Do?

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

How would you describe the role of a sex therapist?

Answer:
A sex therapist can be a psychiatrist, a marriage and family therapist, a psychologist, or a clinical social worker. We are specially trained in sex therapy methods beyond the minimal amount of training about sexuality that is required for each of those licenses.
There are a few graduate schools in the U.S. that specialize in training for sex therapy. Some people assemble their training by rigorous self-study and by attendance at the major sexological organizations' annual conferences. We have about a dozen scientific journals dedicated solely to sexual research. There are about six major organizations that hold conferences and trainings.

So seeing a sex therapist is like going to a gynecologist for gynecological problems rather than to a family practice physician. Both have specialized particularly in that area. That isn't to say that one couldn't get good help from a non-sex therapist for a sexual issue, it's just that the likelihood might be a bit less.
Most sex therapists have a particular awareness of sexuality that rises above personal opinion or personal experiences. We usually have several choices of ways to treat a particular issue when someone presents it. We tailor our treatment to the person(s) before us. We are not a "bigger hammer" there to coerce a person who wants less sex into wanting more. There is a sexological method to treating sexual issues. With the exception of when separate sexual surrogate therapists are added (in a very small number of cases), sex therapy is completely talk therapy.

Sex therapy views sexual issues as being resolved by specifically addressing them, rather than by the assumption that when the individuals in a relationship work out the relationship issues, the sex will just fall into place. For years, I have had a practice full of couples for whom that simply was not true.
Sex therapists also tend to have much greater than average knowledge about the physiological processes that are a part of human sexuality. We tend to work collaboratively with physicians to address the entirety of the causes of sexual concerns.

I would venture to say that there is near unanimity in the sex field when it comes to acceptance of sexual orientations and transgender existence. I have never met a sex therapist who tried to cure homosexuality -- though there are other mental health practitioners who do attempt to do so.
We hold a positive outlook on the beneficial influence that sexuality can have on people's lives and in the world in general. And we are not naive about the ill effects that come as a result of sexuality. We simply try to address those issues from a rigorous scientific perspective, rather than from an ideological perspective.

Louanne Cole Weston, PhD, is a licensed marriage, family, and child counselor and a board-certified sex therapist in practice since 1983. Her work in the field of human sexuality includes extensive experience as a therapist, educator, and researcher.

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Avoid Mosquitoes and Prevent Bites Naturally

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

By MIHealthCoach, eHow Member

Step1
Clear away any standing water if possible in buckets, pool covers, etc.
Step2
Mosquitoes hate garlic. You can use this to your advantage by rubbing a little onto your exposed skin, or eat it and it will permeate through your pores.
Step3
Citronella candles are effective and also can be rubbed on your skin
Step4
Vitamin B-1 (thiamine hydrochloride) is known to give off an odor through the skin that repels mosquitos and also gnats, no seeums and black flies. A 100 mg. tablet, taken once daily should be effective.
Step5
Plants such as marigolds, lavender, cinnamon, rosemary, catnip, and peppermint repel mosquitoes and can be planted in your garden. Centerpieces made of the same plants will also work and can be planted later.
Step6
Bats are natural predators of mosquitoes. Take advantage of this by building bat houses to encourage them to take up residence.
Step7
When sitting outside, place a large electric fan by you. Mosquitos are too weak to fly against the air current.

Cheers, frizzy2008.

Mosquito bites human, how to...

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

By Nic Fleming, Science Correspondent

Scientists have worked out why mosquitoes make a beeline for certain people but appear to leave others almost untouched.

Specific cells in one of the three organs that make up the mosquito’s nose are tuned to identify the different chemicals that make up human body odour.

To the mosquito some people’s sweat simply smells better than others because of the proportions of the carbon dioxide, octenol and other compounds that make up body odour.

It is those people who are most likely to be bitten.

The researchers believe the discovery of the way the mosquito smells will lead to the development of a new generation of repellents that would block mosquitoes’ nose - preventing them finding humans prey - within five to 10 years.

While helping those people who always seem to get bitten and people with allergic reactions to bites, such substances could also save millions of lives in the fight against malaria, most prevalent life-threatening disease in the world.

Mosquitoes use three organs to smell and taste – a feathery antenna which can identify a wide range of different chemicals, a proboscis used for short-range detection and the maxillary palp for longer range smelling.

US scientists, whose research was published today in the journal Current Biology, have produced a detailed map of the maxillary palp.

They found it contains a series of highly specialised receptor cells used to detect the different components of human body odour.

Laurence J. Zwiebel, professor of biological sciences at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, Tennessee, who led the study, said: “What makes mosquitoes such good transmitters of malaria is that they are extremely good at finding people to bite.

“The amazing thing that we found was that all the sensory hairs that line the bottom of the maxillary palp are identical.

“They are all attached to three neurons - one which is tuned to detect carbon dioxide, one which is tuned to detect octenol, and one which serves to enhance general olfactory reception.

“We are looking to make a new generation of repellents based on targeting these molecular components in the mosquitoe nose.

“If you can block or hyper-stimulate these receptors, the mosquito would not do nearly as well at finding human prey.”

Prof Zwiebel added he expected the new repellents to be available for use within five to ten years.

The tips of the organs that make up the mosquito nose are perforated with thousands of tiny holes that let aromatic compounds to penetrate.

Once inside chemicals encounter the receptors that detect specific molecules that identify potential targets as human.

Co-author of the research Tan Lu, also at Vanderbilt University, said: “These receptors are highly sensitive, which suggests that the maxillary palps serve as the malaria mosquito’s long-range detection system.”

Most of the reason for people believing they are targeted more frequently by mosquitoes is in reality down to their suffering more serious swellings and allergic reactions.

However it has been shown that some people are bitten more often because of differences in their body odour.

The researchers carried out their work on Anopheles gambiae, the mosquito species most responsible for spreading malaria.

They believe it can be applied to other malaria-spreading species.

Malaria infects some 650 million people per year worldwide and kills between one and three million, mostly young children in Sub-Saharan Africa.

The work is part of a large international collaboration led by the US National Institutes of Health aimed at developing a chemical strategy to combat the spread of malaria in the developing world.

Cheers, frizzy2008

Blogger, sikap membuka diri

Fahmi Rizwansyah says:

Keputusanku menjadi blogger, salah satunya adalah keinginan membuka diri seluas-luasnya, namun aku sadari, aku harus memiliki etika dan pemahaman dalam menjalani kehidupan blogger. Sudah lama mencari-cari bahan untuk menyampaikannya, eh ternyata muncul di kompas online pagi ini, 1/1/2009.

Berikut tulisan yang disampaikan oleh Nilam Widyarini, MSi, dosen pada Fakultas Psikologi Universitas Guna Dharma, Jakarta

MEMBUKA diri terhadap orang lain (self disclosure) itu ibarat mata uang, memiliki dua sisi. Di satu sisi berarti memasuki hubungan yang lebih matang. Di sisi lain, terdapat risiko dicemooh dan dikhianati. Bagaimanapun, self disclosure merupakan isyarat berkembangnya hubungan yang sehat yang perlu dikelola.

Kadang-kadang kita dibuat kagum oleh seseorang yang dengan sangat terbuka dapat menceritakan apa saja yang ia pikirkan, rasakan, dan inginkan. Meskipun banyak kesulitan atau kekurangan, hidup seolah dirasa sebagai hal yang ringan, dan dilakoni tanpa beban.

Kita dapat menjadi lebih nyaman berinteraksi dengan pribadi seperti itu. Karena ia terbuka, kita pun dapat menjadi lebih terbuka, dan akhirnya relasi berlangsung lebih akrab dan saling percaya.

Namun, pada kesempatan lain kadang terjadi sebaliknya. Kita justru merasa muak dengan seseorang yang terlalu membuka diri sampai ke hal-hal yang sangat pribadi, yang menurut kita tidak pantas untuk diceritakan kepada orang banyak.

Hal yang Diungkapkan
Ada rambu-rambu dalam pengungkapan diri agar hubungan menjadi efektif:
- Lebih mengungkapkan perasaan daripada fakta. Bila kita mengungkapkan perasaan terhadap orang lain, berarti kita mengizinkan orang lain mengenali siapa kita sesungguhnya. Misalnya, informasi bagaimana kita mengembangkan hubungan dengan saudara-saudari kita membuat orang lain memahami kita, daripada sekadar memberikan informasi bahwa kita memiliki saudara.

- Semakin diperluas dan diperdalam. Mungkin kita masih mengalami perasaan tidak nyaman berbagi pengalaman dengan seseorang yang seharusnya dekat dengan kita. Untuk itu perlu dilakukan pengembangan hubungan ke arah yang lebih dalam (lebih mengungkapkan perasaan terhadap isu tertentu) dan diperluas (dengan mendiskusikan berbagai isu, seperti pekerjaan, keluarga, pengalaman religius, dan sebagainya).

- Fokus pada masa kini, bukan masa lampau. Bila berbagi pengalaman soal masa lalu menjelaskan mengapa dulu kita melakukan tindakan tertentu adalah bersifat katarsis (melepaskan ketegangan), tetapi dapat meninggalkan perasaan bahwa kita lemah. Hal ini terjadi terutama bila keterbukaan tidak berlangsung timbal balik. Jadi, lebih baik kita fokus pada situasi sekarang.

- Timbal balik. Kita harus selalu mencocokkan tingkat keterbukaan kita dengan tingkat keterbukaan orang yang kita jumpai. Hati-hati, jangan terlalu membuka diri secara dini, sebelum melewati masa-masa pengembangan hubungan yang familier dan saling percaya. Di sisi lain, bila diperlukan, tidak perlu menunggu orang membuka diri. Jangan takut untuk memulai langkah penting membangun hubungan. Berikan contoh, dan orang lain akan menyesuaikan diri. Bila orang tidak merespon secara seimbang, hentikan langkah tersebut.

Banyak Manfaat
Keterbukaan diri memiliki manfaat bagi masing-masing individu maupun bagi hubungan antara kedua pihak. Dengan membuka diri dan membalas keterbukaan diri orang lain, kita dapat meningkatkan komunikasi dan hubungan dengan orang lain.

Secara rinci manfaatnya adalah:
- Meringankan. Berbagi dengan orang lain mengenai diri atau persoalan yang kita hadapi, dapat memberikan kondisi psikologis yang meringankan. Misalnya, cerita tentang ketidakmampuan menghadapi ujian atau berakhirnya hubungan dengan seseorang. Bagaimana kita mengatasi hal itu? Bagaimana pandangan orang lain? Dengan membuka diri, kita memperoleh tambahan perspektif yang membantu diri sendiri melihat titik frustrasi dari sudut pandang orang lain.

- Membantu validasi (menguji ketepatan) persepsi terhadap realita. Dengan sudut pandang sendiri, kita mungkin cenderung menggunakan ukuran yang idealistis menurut diri sendiri. Bila kita mengomunikasikan hal tersebut dengan seseorang yang tepat (yang memberikan simpati, suportif, dapat dipercaya, dan pendengar yang baik), kita tidak hanya mendapatkan persetujuan, tetapi juga informasi yang diperlukan untuk lebih memahami diri sendiri, yang kita perlukan agar memahami dunia secara lebih realistis.

- Mengurangi tegangan dan stres. Bila kita menghadapi ketegangan atau stres karena suatu hal, bila tidak diungkapkan akan berkembang menjadi eksplosif (mudah meledak). Sebaliknya, bila diungkapkan kepada orang lain, kita akan menemukan jalan keluar. Andaikan tidak mendapat jalan keluar, setidaknya lebih ringan karena kita merasa tidak sendirian. Hal ini justru dapat membuat kita menjadi lebih dekat dengan orang lain dan menambah rasa nyaman pada saat itu maupun dalam relasi selanjutnya.

- Meringankan fisik. Terdapat keterkaitan antara pikiran dengan sistem tubuh kita. Adanya pengaruh positif pada pikiran (akibat pengungkapan diri), berakibat pada fisik. Berbagi atau mengungkapkan diri dengan orang lain, membuat stres kita berkurang, kecemasan berkurang, dan meredakan juga detak jantung dan tekanan darah. Dengan kata lain, pengungkapan diri dapat berpengaruh positif terhadap kesehatan fisik, selain emosi.

- Alur komunikasi yang lebih jelas. Dengan menunjukkan keinginan untuk membuka diri terhadap orang lain, dan menghargai pengungkapan diri orang lain, berarti kita meningkatkan kemampuan untuk memahami sudut pandang atau perspektif yang berbeda. Dengan demikian, kita akan lebih percaya diri untuk mengklarifikasi niat-niat atau makna-makna dari orang lain. Adanya umpan balik lewat diskusi terbuka, kekaburan dalam komunikasi diminimalkan.

- Mempererat hubungan. Bila antarekan lebih saling mengenal satu sama lain, terjadi efek timbal balik: keterbukaan mengembangkan rasa senang yang semakin meningkatkan keterbukaan dan berakibat makin kuatnya rasa senang. Tanpa pengungkapan diri, tingkat keeratan hubungan dan kepercayaan berada pada level rendah. Dengan keterbukaan dihasilkan kepercayaan, dan dengan kepercayaan dihasilkan kerja sama. Di dalam organisasi, kerja sama dan saling percaya ini menentukan inovasi yang sangat penting agar tetap survive dan mampu berkompetisi. Lebih dari itu, hasil riset menemukan bahwa bila antarekan kerja semakin menyukai kerja sama, mereka lebih produktif dalam mengerjakan proyek atau dalam situasi tim.

Cheers, frizzy2008.